The Power of Vulnerability in Strengthening Team Bonds
An introspective essay exploring team collaboration within the context of my MA Service Design program at UAL
Introduction
Millennials and Gen Zs are racing a world that moves at lightning speed, and adaptability is key (Anton, 2017). An agile framework fosters a culture for them to thrive by creating an environment that responds quickly to crisis (Jurisic, Lurie, Risch, and Salo, 2020). In this culture, the team works around a common goal, viewing challenges as important factors for growth and improvement (HRM Handbook, no date). This culture fosters flexibility, shared responsibility, faster response times, improved scope management, autonomy, a lack of unnecessary formalities, and a safe space for vulnerability.
In my essay, I explore the top significance of team vulnerability and the strategies we employed over eight weeks to overcome obstacles. My ways of working (WoW) team, comprising diverse members, paved way to some concerns about appearing ordinary on my part (Brown, 2012, p. 29). Initially, the concept of leadership felt overwhelming, but I kept my apprehensions discreet due to the perceived notion that being a follower is somewhat less desirable (Phebus, 2017). By the end of week 7, I firmly developed a belief that leadership is manifested through the actions and traits of those who follow (Chitambira, 2020). The cultivation of psychological safe space, a place where I could express my thoughts without any inhibitions, was facilitated through vulnerability, enriching our team communication.
Understanding vulnerability
Vulnerability in team connections
The manual of me, where all the members of the cohort shared a bit about themselves for the batch to get acquainted was valuable. However, being new to the course, I held back delving too deeply into details, specifically my insecurities. Talking with a few team members, I discovered that they avoided being too specific as well, fearing judgment. According to Ed Catmul and Amy Wallace (2014, p. 143), “When it comes to interacting with other people in a work environment, there are times when we choose not to say what we really think.” This reluctance creates a sense of scarcity in us (Brown, 2012, p. 34). In a conversation with one of the course members, they shared feelings of aloofness and suppression due to a language barrier, and their hesitation to open up created a gap in the holistic relationship and functioning of the team. Most of us bear the idea that vulnerability is a sign of weakness and it's a harmful myth (Brown, 2012, p. 39). We often resist and fight vulnerability because we associate it with intense emotions like fear, shame, judgment, grief, sadness, and disappointment. We tend to get uncomfortable and avoid discussing these feelings, despite their significant impact on our lives, relationships, work, and leadership (Brown, 2012, p. 39). It's almost as if vulnerability is the forbidden fruit. Brene Brown emphasizes in one of her talks that vulnerability is the core, the heart, and the center of meaningful human experiences (Ted Talk, 2010, “The Power of Vulnerability”).
Circle of Connection
I observed that the energy in my team between some of us was quite rigid, while with others, I felt quite comfortable. I wondered why I felt more comfortable with them. I traced it back to a class activity we had participated in together earlier called ‘Coaching Circle’, which focused on active listening and asking quality questions. In this activity, we spoke about our fears and shared our insecurities. We were breaking many barriers to develop a meaningful connection with each other. It significantly improved our communication and empathy towards each other.
Navigating communication challenges in a diverse team
During the inaugural week of our Ways of Working project, we kicked off a democratic voting process for the best ideas each of us proposed. This approach seemed to establish a safe space for sharing ideas as it did not involve any strain of bias in the selection process. However, despite the team projecting a safe environment, there was a persistent gap in communication. Moreover, post our first project presentation, I was dissatisfied with our approach and our inability to experiment with unique ideas but refrained from explicitly communicating it with my team. What kept me from speaking up? It was an unfamiliar environment with new people from diverse cultures. The reluctance to voice my thoughts stemmed from the unfamiliarity of the environment. Thoughts like ‘might I unintentionally offend them?’ swirled in my mind. Do I suppress my thoughts and feelings? But at what cost? Would it improve my contribution to the team? Absolutely not. Did it change? Yes. How? Well, our team did not intentionally attempt to alter the dynamics. It organically evolved through trial and error, we became aware of what worked for us and what did not.
Additionally, in the initial phase, no one was at fault, but our team engaged in constant work-related discussions. I believed this formality was the norm due to my conditioned mindset that was acquired from past experiences. The meetings were flooded with formal conversations and had a straight-to-business approach, which became quite tedious. I found myself and a couple of other team members dreading meetings as the atmosphere was overly formal and lacked connection. Connecting with others is ingrained in our nature, providing purpose and meaning to our lives. Without it, there is a sense of suffering. (Brene, 2012, p. 17)
Stepping into vulnerability
Navigating team dynamics through in-person connection
Our entire team dynamics flipped when a team member openly shared their preference for offline meetings, with comfort and home Wi-Fi connectivity issues. This was a huge step towards vulnerability. Clear indications of unease, disinterest, and a lack of enthusiasm, as well as signs of ease, engagement, and enthusiasm, were easily evident within the team. Transitioning to in-person meetings resulted in an increased amount of quality time spent together, fostering a better understanding of each other’s body language, and an overall enhancement in comfort levels. The subtleties conveyed through body language are often lost in virtual communications via online meetings, potentially causing a sense of disconnection within teams (Roberts, 2021).
The collective brain
Following our weekly presentations, an inquiry arose regarding specific elements and their idea owners. Reflecting on our idea-generation process, it dawned on us that our ideas did not belong to a singular owner. We were building on each other’s thoughts, embracing a collaborative approach. Intrigued, I decided to explore this further by conducting interviews with other team members in my cohort. I wanted to understand if a sense of belonging existed within their teams and how this feeling influenced team culture and the willingness to share credit. Interestingly, those who felt a strong connection to their teams had no problem sharing credit, whereas those who lacked that sense of belonging felt uneasy about it. This led me to wonder how we fostered a sense of belonging in our team. What did we do to achieve this? How did our dynamics shift? My conclusion: We ‘played’.
Playful productivity
Diane Ackerman’s insight that “play is our brain’s favorite way of learning”, play became our catalyst in reinforcing the bonds among our team members and breaking down barriers to achieve vulnerability. Instead of the conventional approach of creating a user journey map on laptops using software, we opted for a hands-on approach, crafting a miniature model of our journey with scrap materials (as shown in figure 5). Incorporating play for productivity was a game-changer for our team.
Working on our model for close to four hours, we lost track of time. We experienced a state of ‘flow’ (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p. 49). We were fully immersed and enjoying the process of completing the task at hand that evening.
Embracing vulnerability
The transformative power of play in adulthood
What unfolded during our ‘play’ sessions? We were engaged, focusing on one task at a time and receiving immediate feedback. Engaging in Play had a profound impact, enhancing empathy and helping us navigate social dynamics, and lies at the heart of creativity. As Brian Sutton-Smith poignantly expressed, “The opposite of play is not work — the opposite of play is depression” (The Ambiguity of Play, 1997, p. 214). Why did we find joy in this experience? Most of us experienced childhood before adulthood, carrying the desires and yearning from our younger days. The influence of our inner child persists into adulthood, underscoring the significance of play throughout our lives, not only in childhood. It is not carefree, innocent play, we are referring to serious play, it is about deliberate play with rules, time constraints and productivity benefits. However, fun play also has its benefits in team building.
Recognizing the gap in retrospective sessions
Play proved to be a valuable tool we employed to break multiple barriers to encounter the forbidden fruit-vulnerability, yet we needed an additional approach to nurture openness within our team. How did I arrive at this realization? In our routine retrospective sessions following our presentations, I observed a shortfall in effectiveness due to my own and other team members’ inability to share thoughts without fear of judgement. In these sessions, we generated ample points for Continue (what’s going well) and Start (ideas to try), but the input for Stop (what did not go well) and Fix (what needs improvement) was notably limited. Voicing my concerns over these aspects was a challenge. For a team to truly grow, it necessitates both positive and constructive feedback. I questioned why our retrospective session seemed to skew towards positive feedback. It was not as if our team operated flawlessly. Was it a matter of trust, a fear of judgement, or perhaps a combination of both? Creative collaboration was not possible without trust (Wallace and Catmull, 2014, p. 146).
Fostering openness and growth
We delved into a round of the Johari window exercise, introduced by psychologists Luft and Ingham in 1955. This exercise is a beneficial tool for acquiring self-awareness and fostering a team culture that encourages open communication, further embracing the realm of vulnerability. Recognizing the importance of trying new approaches and not adhering strictly to old methodologies (Groysberg, Lee, Price, and Cheng, 2018), we decided to modify the exercise.
During the adapted version, a team member proposed attaching papers on our backs and jotting down positive and negative feedback for each team member, deviating from the laptop-based approach. It was non-anonymous, this method allowed us to understand each other’s thought processes. As the session concluded, we gained valuable insights into blind spots about ourselves. Upon enquiring about my team’s feelings before and after, all expressed positivity, even after receiving negative remarks. Their shared sentiment was that we communicated our thoughts in a way that inspired improvement rather than fostering criticism about bad behaviour (Figure 9).
Cultivating a safe space to grow
Personally, the Johari window exercise opened doors to effective communication, allowing me to acknowledge both the known and unrecognized truths in the feedback. The results were astonishing, the negative feedback, which we knew was true about ourselves, gave us a safe space to work on it within the team.
One of the feedback stated that I was not assertive enough, it pushed me to foster a nurturing environment where I could practice assertiveness without offending my team. My team members were aware of my active efforts toward personal growth, creating a safe and supportive space. Additionally, I observed a team member who, post receiving feedback about being somewhat closed, began to open up more, revealing their goofier side. This process empowered each of us to express our authentic selves.
Building bonds
In addition, our team lunches played a pivotal role in solidifying our team connections. These informal conversations offered a platform for discussing our culture, preferences, and diverse views on various topics. Although seemingly insignificant, the act of sharing a meal cultivated team spirit and helped establish relationships among team members (Indeed editorial team, 2023), enhancing trust and credibility.
Eventually, we got good at reading other’s body language, despite our diverse backgrounds. We began to embrace vulnerability, we started being more ourselves, feeling connected and this alleviated the need to stress about someone taking charge (Figure 13), each member contributed at different times, fostering a distinctive bond, a mature bond infused with a playful spirit that kept our inner child alive. Additionally, after fostering vulnerability in our team dynamics, our retrospective session in week five had an evident difference compared to week two (Figure 14).
Conclusion
In summation, the transformative power of embracing the inner child, expressing unmasked emotions, shedding layers of shame-based fear, sharing insecurities with courage, and confronting vulnerability cannot be overstated. This process has the potential to revolutionize team dynamics, cultivating openness and vulnerability that, in turn, reshape perspectives and cultivate meaningful connections.
The synergy between service design and collaboration is evident, organizations actively seek strategies, such as the ‘silo breaker,’ to facilitate seamless and productive collaboration among individuals with diverse backgrounds and responsibilities (Stickdorn et al., 2018, p. 74).
The significance of embracing vulnerability extends beyond an individual’s acceptance, it acts as a catalyst for eliciting openness from team members. The internal cultivation of this mindset is crucial, serving as a cornerstone for external activation to facilitate effective collaboration. Just as forbidden fruits hold profound flavors, vulnerability harbors the potential for meaningful connections. By daring to encounter the forbidden fruit of vulnerability, we may realize that its essence is not weakness but a medium that fosters authenticity and deepens human experiences.
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